Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
