brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Apparently you make a good broom.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?