Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

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  (847): All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg http://tfl.nu/5dma
  Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (1748)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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  (+27): I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake. (+27): I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better. http://tfl.nu/rfir
  Replies (39) Good night (4329) Bad night (1661)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

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  (806): Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients http://tfl.nu/si73
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (2905)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.

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  (503): Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/g56z
  Replies (13) Good night (3727) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You said that last year...

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  (260): Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate. (219): You said that last year... http://tfl.nu/7qlf
  Replies (18) Good night (2178) Bad night (5627)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  we're making bets on your personal life

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  (603): we're making bets on your personal life http://tfl.nu/b50k
  Replies (14) Good night (4191) Bad night (1273)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.

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  (830): Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk. http://tfl.nu/y7vc
  Replies (15) Good night (1462) Bad night (3885)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

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  (302): I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/y6ds
  Replies (12) Good night (5235) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?

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  (541): Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl? http://tfl.nu/31z4
  Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.

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  (631): He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club. http://tfl.nu/hcoc
  Replies (5) Good night (2772) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds

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  (914): I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/eevd
  Replies (4) Good night (1340) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'

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  (+61): it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride' http://tfl.nu/25m4
  Replies (4) Good night (1504) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...

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  (910): The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video... http://tfl.nu/iq5u
  Replies (5) Good night (2419) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.

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  (702): Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women. http://tfl.nu/b3we
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.

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  (517): Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into. http://tfl.nu/xhgf
  Replies (3) Good night (286) Bad night (770)

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