Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my being single is dangerous.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
