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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?

  Fav 7 2258 986

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of

  (514): View more from Quebec

  of drugs

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"

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