Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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