he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
