Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
