he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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