I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
