You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
