I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
