maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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