Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize