Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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