What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize