I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
