All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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