You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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