I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
