no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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