Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
