i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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