Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
