Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize