I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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