So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
