Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
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Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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