what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
