Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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