dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
