i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
