Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
