Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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