found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
