we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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