The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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