So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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