I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
