Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
