This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
