About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
