you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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