K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
As shirtless as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize