"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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