so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
