In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
