in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
