I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize