they said they heard you say put it in my butt
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
