So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
