i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
