thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
