This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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