onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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