at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize