Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
