She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
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