is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.