put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now