i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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