He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
