i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
