Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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