Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
